BuzzRepost

Let the buzz flow!

Who Is March’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

Spread the love

While I prepare to write, “Literally anyfuckingbody but Caitlyn Jenner,” on my ballot in case she runs for Governor of California, it’s time to vote in an election where nearly every candidate is a worthy winner. March’s Hot Slut of the Month contest is down to two pooches, toothpaste, and a yogurt shop, which sounds like the title of a sitcom from the 90s. The first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes of the month, and the fourth one was picked by me. I went with Humphrey Yogart because while frozen yogurt doesn’t give my tongue the tingles, a Casablanca-themed pun does. Your choices for March are:

Sisu and His Unicorn Soulmate, the stray dog from North Carolina who continually busted into a Dollar General store to steal the keeper of his heart, a plushie unicorn toy. Thankfully, these star-crossed lovers got a happy ending, unlike Romeo and Juliet, and are now living together in loved-up bliss with their new family. So all is well in the world again. Wait, I just checked my kitchen cabinet and I’m out of Kraft Mac and Cheese, so the world is back to being shit.

Mentadent, the magical toothpaste of the 90s that featured an extremely futuristic double pump that squirted out peroxide and baking soda, which would mate together to get your teeth sparklier than ever!

Sampson, the service dog who serves as his human’s very useful and very skilled lab assistant at the Univesity of Illinois. And Assistant Sampson truly creates a much safer environment in the lab, because he keeps chemicals from splashing around. Any chemical will instantly freeze at the adorable sight of him in PPE.

Humphrey Yogart, the yogurt shop in Sherman Oaks, CA that obviously played a pivotal role in Meghan Markle’s journey to becoming a Duchess.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be declared next Wednesday, April 14!

Pic: Facebook, Amazon, Twitter, Yelp

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *