Apologies to Keanu Reeves but the internet’s actual boyfriend is a butt. Christopher Meloni’s to be exact (pictured here with his pooch Scotty the Wonder Dog). Christopher’s storied rump was recently spotted in Park Slope, Brooklyn as he filmed scenes for the latest Law & Order spin-off, L&O: Organized Crime. Now, a Meloni melon sighting, while always welcome, is not that infrequent, but this one was captured on film while Christopher was doing some kind of leg stretch, pushing his tight pants to the limit of their ability to contain the ham within. And the photo caused such a stir on Twitter, that Christopher was compelled to offer an explanation for how he came into possession of “so much cake.” Yes, it’s a ham, it’s cake, it’s a peach, it’s a pair of perfectly plump oversized King’s Hawaiian rolls — it’s a whole buffet.
Here’s the shot that caused a run on church fans nationwide due to a lot of suddenly sweaty whores.
Law and Ardor: Special Thicctims Unit
— peter hess (@PeterNHess) April 7, 2021
As I said, this picture garnered a lot of attention with some likening the mounds to Tom Cruise‘s Mission Impossible stunt-butt. Perhaps that is why Christopher felt compelled to comment that his cake is as real as it is spectacular. And can you believe it, Christopher turned 60 on April 2!
Sure- big birthday(60), big boy(200 lbs), big cake https://t.co/lmkZ5JKFWe
— Chris Meloni (@Chris_Meloni) April 8, 2021
It’s simple math! And if Marie Antoinette was serving cakes like Christopher’s, she might have been heralded as a hero to the people instead of having her head used for free-throw practice. Christopher obviously has enough cake to go around but am a pervert if I just want to lick the bowl? The Daily Mail reminds us that way back in 2014, Christopher jokingly dubbed his posterior hardscape “the best ass in primetime.”
The attention on Chris’ backside isn’t exactly new, as he joked about having the ‘best a** in primetime’ with Conan O’Brien back in 2014.
The actor’s on-screen wife from his single-season sitcom Surviving Jack had spent a significant portion of her earlier interview with Conan praising her costar’s build, so naturally he asked the Law & Order veteran when he appeared for his own interview.
Chris said that, ‘It’s a little genetic,’ though his squats and deadlifts help.
‘I know at some point it’s going to fall, so I might as well keep Father Time at bay,’ he joked.
Well, it worked. Christopher’s ass is Evergreen. Do you think it was a coincidence that’s the name of the shipping company that up jammed the Suez Canal? You know what they say, barge recognize barge.
#BestButtInPrimetime…then & now. Watch #SurvivingJack tonite 930p/830c. #shamelessplug #ShirtlessOptional pic.twitter.com/C0lUcBv83e
— Chris Meloni (@Chris_Meloni) April 11, 2014
christopher meloni has always understood the ass-ignment pic.twitter.com/iAbVAhIdKj
— gabe bergado (@gabebergado) April 8, 2021
— ¡¡EO is endgame!! (@NationBensler) April 7, 2021