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Kylie Jenner Rocks World’s Tiniest Top: What Do You Guys Like Better, My Cleavage or My $36M Mansion?

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For years, fans have been asking the question, who is the hottest member of the Kardashian-Jenner family?

There’s no easy answer, and the matter is entirely a matter of taste.

Unless, of course, you’re Kylie Jenner, in which case, the answer is clearly “Kylie Jenner.”

Kylie Jenner In a See-Through Dress

Yes, whatever else she might be insecure about (we’re sure it’s a very short list), Kylie certainly has no doubts about her hotness.

It’s a part of the Kylie Jenner brand, which, of course, is one of the lucrative personal brands on earth.

But in any area of life, the true greats do it not for the money, but because it’s what they were born to do.

Kylie's Thirst Trap

Tom Brady doesn’t continue winning Super Bowls because he needs the cash.

LeBron James doesn’t keep dominating the NBA because he’s short on rent.

And Kylie Jenner doesn’t post thirst traps just for the sake of lining her pockets.

Kylie Rocks a Black Bikini

The woman is an artist.

She’s the Cezanne of Selfies, the Botticelli of Booty Pics.

Her posts are studies in composition and the creative use of cleavage.

Kylie Jenner Rocks Red

Peep, for example, Kylie’s latest pic, in which she fully dominates the color red, effectively making it her b-tch.

Red has been the most vibrant color on the spectrum for millennia, but Kylie was basically like, “Yeah, let’s find out who attracts the most attention, MFer.”

We don’t think anyone would deny that Kylie is hotter than red, but to return to our original question, is Kylie the hottest Kar-Jenner?

Kylie Jenner Has a Pool

Our opinion on this vitally important matter changes from day to day, but today, we’re giving Kylie the top spot.

But it’s not for the reasons you might assume.

Obviously, Kylie looks great in her latest selfies, but members of the extended Kardashian clan rarely post pics in which they look anything other than stunning.

Kylie Jenner Matches

So looks alone are not enough to claim the prize in this contest.

No, we’re giving Kylie the W because of her house.

As you can see, Kylizzle is lounging poolside in her latest pics, and while it looks like it’s not quite swimsuit weather in her latest pic, it soon will be.

Kylie Jenner's Cleavage in 2021

Kylie purchased a $36 million mansion just before the pandemic, which means she might’ve had the coolest quarantine arrangement of anyone on the planet.

But now, the weather is warming up and America is re-opening.

And we like to think Kylie is sending her 200 million followers an important message with this pic.

Kylie In a Black Bikini

That message? Get yourself a friend with a pool.

Obviously, that’s not the sort of thing Kylie has to worry about, but she’s sending this early reminder out to the peasantry so that we don’t mess around and wind up missing out on two summers in a row.

Look, last summer was hella lame, there’s no denying it.

Kylie Jenner: Makeup-Free In a Bikini

But Kylie is performing a public service by reminding us all that the heat and sunshine will be here before you know it, and the time to start planning is now.

We don’t want to say Kylie is the most selfless and humble public figure in the history of ever …

… but we also can’t think of a contradictory way to end that sentence.

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