Shocking news out of Arkansas today, as Jed Duggar appears to have abruptly ended his engagement to Katey Nakatsu.
The news has Duggar fans absolutely floored, as nothing like this has previously happened in the family’s long history of courtships and weddings.
The closest precedent came when Josiah Duggar broke up with Marjorie Jackson back in 2015.
But those two weren’t engaged, and they certainly weren’t days away from their wedding.
To put it mildly, the surprising situation has left card-carrying members of Duggar Nation with a dizzying array of questions.
Fortunately, Jed – who hadn’t personally confirmed the quasi-secret engagement until now – answered many of them in a rare Instagram post in which he broke the sad news to his followers.
“Hello, friends, fellow Americans, and fans,” Jed began.
Usually, members of the Duggar family keep mum about the messier aspects of their personal lives, but Jed has bucked the trend by being shockingly honest about his breakup.
“I’m afraid I have some bad news,” he begsan.
“After weeks of careful consideration and some very, very heated discussions, Katey and I have decided to call off our wedding.”
There you have it.
As fans know, Jed unsuccessfully ran for a seat in the Arkansas State House of Representatives last year, and his candor might be a result of his desire to return to the political arena in the near future.
Speaking of Jed’s political ambitions, it seems that they played a role in the end of his engagement in a very unexpected way.
“As many of you know, my desire to serve the people of Arkansas is second only to my desire to serve the Lord,” he wrote.
“But Katey and I recently came to the realization that we’re simply not on the same page with regard to our political beliefs.”
“The trouble began when I came home one evening and announced to Katey that I had some exciting news:
“I took off the blazer I always wear for some reason, and I showed her my new t-shirt.”
“It had a picture of our president, Amtrak Joe himself, eating an ice cream cone, with the words ‘I’m Ridin’ With Biden’ emblazoned beneath it.”
“Then I gave Katey her present: a crop top with a picture Kamala Harris underneath a banner reading, ‘Yaaaaas, Queen!’
“Yes, I had decided to become a Democrat.”
How did that go over? Well …
“I thought Katey would be thrilled, but instead, she threw the Kamala shirt in my face, and called me a lib-cuck elitist hippie, whatever that means,” Jed’s tale of woe continued.
“She sat in our yard listening to Ted Nugent as she waited for her parents to pick her up, and then the whole family drove back to Arizona.”
“I didn’t even get a chance to tell her that I scored a pair of those Lil Nas X Satan sneakers, but that’s probably for the best,” Jed concluded.
Jed will presuambly be keeping the 66-sneakers, but for those who sent him a wedding gift, rest assured they will be given back.
“Any presents we’ve received thus far will be promptly returned, along with a $35 Chick-Fil-A gift card and one of those framed photos of footprints on a beach with the poem about Jesus,” he continued.
Needless to say, that’s an awful lot to take in.
And as you may have figured out, it’s also Fake News. Not in the way our former President used that term to villanize the media, but truly, actually false, made-up, satirical, never-meant-to-be-believed news.
Just our idea of an April Fools’ Day joke, in other words.
Hope you enjoyed it!