Ashley Tisdale was pregnant. She gave birth to her first child yesterday. It was a girl, and she and her husband Christopher French named her… ugh, here we go… Jupiter. Jupiter Iris French. Jupiter French. Now, apparently, this is a real fucking name, and last year about eighty out of every million American babies were given the planetary/Roman god moniker. To which I say: NOPE. Here are the planets you’re allowed to use: Venus and Pluto. End of list. And Pluto should really only be for dogs. And it’s not even technically a planet anymore.
35-year-old Ashley posted the news to her Instagram:
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As you can see, baby Jupiter is already grabbing mommy’s hand in an effort to get her to re-write the name on the birth certificate.
Ashley got married to 38-year-old Christopher, a composer, in 2014. They did a gender reveal back in October. The couple kept it simple and cut a pink cake. Ashley noted that she wanted to be safe, and not, like, start a fire or kill someone.
Now, I’d feel bad trashing Ashley’s baby name, because Sharpay was the best part of High School Musical, but methinks getting sweet, sweet attention (good or bad) was the main reason she chose Jupiter. Hell, the name is the only reason I’m writing about her baby! So, well played, Tisdale.