The final nail in the coffin containing Armie Hammer’s movie career has been hammered in so forcefully, that not even a rich, moderately attractive white man of mediocre talents could ever hope to one day pry it loose. One hopes. Variety reports that Armie’s just been dropped from the last film he was still attached to after multiple accusations of morally reprehensible, and possibly criminal, sexual proclivities came to light. Armie was slated to star in a movie called Billion Dollar Spy opposite Mads Mikkelsen. But don’t worry — I have an idea. Mads took over for Johnny Depp in Fantastic Beasts. Therefore I propose that Mads takes over for Armie and play both roles, they tweak the script, and call it Billion Dollar Parent Trap. Problem solved, everybody wins! Well, except for Armie, but who cares?!
Armie’s already been dropped by his talent agency WME and his publicist. He was also replaced with Josh Duhamel in Shotgun Wedding, had his offer rescinded by The Offer, and the already finished Death on The Nile is probably going to end up in the Disney Vault next Song of The South. Variety reports:
Hammer is no longer attached to the thriller “Billion Dollar Spy,” Variety has learned exclusively. Hammer was set to star opposite Mads Mikkelsen in the Cold War drama that comes from filmmaker Amma Asante.
Representatives for Asante and Walden Media, the film company behind the movie, declined to comment any further.
“Billion Dollar Spy” was the one last remaining film on Hammer’s slate, meaning every studio that was in business with Hammer, prior to the allegations, has now officially cut ties with the actor.
All other upcoming projects in which Hammer will appear on-screen had already wrapped production, prior to the allegations.
And Armie’s in deeper shit than just having his ten year plan for global box office domination thwarted. It was reported earlier this month that the LAPD is currently investigating Armie for sexual assault stemming from an accusation of “violent rape and physical abuse” by a woman known only as Effie, who is thought to be the person behind the Instagram account @houseofeffie.
I mean at this point, Armie’s only hope for a return to the big screen will be if someone eventually makes a documentary about his ghoulish and allegedly abusive and murderous family. And he better pray that nobody manages to dig up the Hammer Vault in doing so.